• Akili

Does their hair need to be combed everyday?

Updated: Feb 5

https://youtu.be/8bY8tBRGuhkL! One TRA mom posted this question in a group and there was soooooo much backlash. Black people were outraged, and white people were coddling...

So, I get it. You are new to this whole "black hair" thing. Each curl and coil seems like something you want to tame, but fight the urge and go with the flow.

The reason so many Black people were upset by the question was because the question seemed like the parent was irritated with her new found responsibility. As Black parents we feel that if you are going to take on the responsibility, do it well. There was also a level of confusion. Our assumption is that combing hair is a grooming habit, so why would you choose not to groom the child.

The white parents quickly jumped in to let this mom know that she was doing her best and not to worry about the naysayers. They wanted to ensure she felt ok about making mistakes and asking questions.

I decided to ask the parent some additional questions because I felt like there was a break down in communication (as is the case in many FB groups). It turns out the parent was wondering if it was necessary to run an actual comb through her child's hair everyday, or could she just leave it coiled up. I advised her that while the child is young she may need to comb through the hair (at least finger combing) to cut down on tangling and damage, and she understood. It also depends on the hair type.

There are an endless array of styles for the child with "black hair". For many years we were made to feel that our natural hair was unprofessional, unpresentable, unmanageable and ugly. Now, we are rocking our curls, wearing it straight, and everything in between. All of these styling options are perfect for those with a creative mind and nimble fingers, but for white parents who are used to something more simple, the struggle is real.

Learning is uncomfortable for everyone, and you are no exception. If caring for Black hair seems difficult, head over to YouTube University, or let's get an appointment made at the salon. What's not acceptable is neglect...I cringe when I seen children with dry hair full of knots and lint. There is no reason for it. You chose to take them in, you said you'd take care of them...so take care of all of them.

Below are some YouTube channels that can help...






Hair Type


Boys Hair


Teen Boys


Hair Goals



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